Posted: March 28
There are some ruthless, cruel, challenging, post-apocalyptic, undead, 'run for your life' games out there. Killing Floor, Left 4 Dead, Resident Evil Revelations and Sniper Elite: Nazi Zombie Army are games that leave you unsettled. Part of what makes them so good, is their ability to lull you into a false sense of security and then the zombies swoop without warning. Barbie Dreamhouse Party however, should not be considered one of them.....it is far, far scarier! Yes!...you read it right...Barbie Nightmarehouse Party is another level of horror. It leaves you in a panic, trying to anticipate when and where the monsters will attack. Be afraid, be very afraid!
Why is it so scary:
* Well for starters, the walls are pink!...PINK! That colour is evil!
* The horse, Tawny, has makeup on. MAKEUP! Why is a horse wearing makeup? Tawny must be an evil creature, masking undead scales, underneath that camouflage, ready to attack, when you least expect it. Zombie games do that; they ambush you when you're not looking. I'm watching you, odd-toed ungulate mammal!
* The game has karaoke dance events! What sorcery is this? While you partake in these activities, I suspect the zombies are roused from their sleep, by this ceremonial dance, and are preparing to attack from their hidden dark alcoves. Be ready for them!
* You don't get chainsaws, rocket launchers, m99's or aa12's to defend yourself. If/when things get nasty, you get combs, hairbrushes, and nail files for weapons. Make sure you get to the hairdryer first, because that's the closest thing you'll find resembling a gun.
* Barbie's closet is endless! That is sorcery for sure, because closets are not endless. It is well known that zombies jump out of closets too. It's always a closet...but an endless closet is mind-bogglingly formidable! It might mean...(pause)...ENDLESS ZOMBIES
? Stay away from the closets!
Now some might argue that I've been playing zombie games for way too long and it has warped my perception. I'll admit that I'm still yet to trigger the horde of monsters, but I've only played for roughly 1000 hours. Trust me however, because I have experience with zombie games and Barbie will transform into the giant boss monster you'll have to fight at the end (probably the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man). Watch her closely, because when she approaches you about the subject of glitter, the final battle is likely to begin! Good luck!
P.S. Post-apocalyptic horror aside, this game is well packaged and professionally done. At the time of purchase, I considered it to be overpriced, but it was new. I'm sure that will change over time. I bought it, despite it's cost, because humour is great value when it's priceless!