Posted: October 21, 2014
It was a dangerous journey, they knew that. But HornyFishMan, NuggleSnugg, and HurgaDerga had to do it. It was time they traveled to the West Coast in their trusty station wagon. Leading the group, HornyFishMan picks up his uzi. They hunt. Bandits attack. Some could even aim. They reach a river. They ford it. Boulders... so many boulders... and then the pirate ship attacked. Luckily, there was a rocket launcher in the river. A few quick shots, and it's down. Suck it, Blackbeard.
The group enters the Great Plains. Buffalo buffalo buffalo. The number of buffalo was absurd. HurgaDerga is impaled by a buffalo, and I swear he will be missed. NuggleSnugg and HornyFishMan go on. Horny is healed by health kits that was bought, along with a flame thrower, with the buffalo hide. Remember, the ones that killed HurgaDerga? Revenge is sweet. They see a woman in a red dress. HornyFishMan stops to see if she needs help. It wasn't a trap, and she needs no help. She thanks Horny and sends him away. A civil war battle is underway nearby. The group says hello. There were no survivors.
The group reaches another river. It was time the station wagon went underwater. Water buffalo water buffalo water buffalo. The group reaches an island. Horny notices supplies on the shore. He takes them. It was a trap! PELICANS! Luckily, he survives. They swim to shore.
They reach a mountain pass. Food supplies were running low, so they hunted. No bandits this time, but wolves. So many wolves. They find a trader. They use the wolves they murdered to buy a double-barreled uzi. There is a snow storm, yet the wolves continue to attack. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥s... They deal with the wolves, and see a strange figure in the distance... Horny investigates.
BIGFOOT! Horny runs at him, and having found another flamethrower in the snow, takes him down easily. It is now out of ammo, though, so he gets his double-barreled uzi back out. Infinite ammo rocks! He runs back to the wagon, and the snow storm was rough, so in their panic, they drive off a cliff.
Buffalo followed HornyFishMan and NuggleSnugg off the cliff. So many buffalo. They dodge all the buffalo, and manage to land safely in a river. Having lost their wheels, the station wagon became a raft. They navigated through boulders and fought off alligators. Then they reached a bandit ambush. The bandits attacked with shotguns on their rafts. Successfully defending themselves from the bandits, alligators, and boulders, the group could see the West coast. They almost made it! But then a bandit showed up. He had found some sort of steam boat. Lighting up the boat as much as possible, it wasn't enough. A bandit holding a shotgun on top of the steam boat fired, and Horny wasn't quick to the dodge. NuggleSnugg joined Hurga, after all this time. She came so far, and it didn't even matter. Horny, in all his rage, blew up the boat with his uzi, ending his bandit problem. Reaching shore, Horny shoots pelicans in celebration. He made it to the West coast, though he lost his best friends. He will never forget that fateful Super Amazing Wagon Adventure.