Spelunky > General Discussions > Topic Details
Neo Nocturna Feb 15 @ 1:49pm
The Grand List of "F*** You"s.
This list is for the developers for Spelunky. I don't expect them to ever see this, but part of me really hopes they do. Before we begin, I'd like to point out that I do genuinely enjoy Spelunky. However, there are a few...grievances, we shall call them, that I'd like to address.

- Whoever created Bats: F*** You.
- Whoever created Arrow Traps: F*** You.
- Whoever put in fall damage: F*** You.
- Whoever created the Climbing Gloves: F*** You.
- Whoever thought it was a good idea to have your character automatically grab ledges rather than have a dedicated key or button for it: F*** You.
- Whoever thought it was a good idea to put Arrow Traps and Tiki Traps directly in front of exits: F*** You.
- Whoever thought it was a good idea to have Scepter projectiles damage you even though you fired them: F*** You.
- Whoever came up with the idea for Dark stages: F*** You.
- Whoever thought it was a good idea to give the Black Market a possibility to be a Dark stage: F*** You.
- Whoever created Landmines: F*** You.
- Whoever thought it was cute to put snowmen in front of Landmines, therefore obscuring them: F*** You.
- Whoever thought it was a good idea to map the "pick up" command to two different buttons, rather than have its own single button: F*** You.
- Whoever thought it was a good idea to allow your Whip to hit behind you -at all- during its animation: F*** You.
- Whoever thought it was a good idea to mark the player as a Terrorist if other, unrelated hazards attacked/killed Shopkeepers: F*** You. (There was actually a time where I entered a stage, only to be immediately marked as a Terrorist because -something- decided to spawn inside the shop within the stage and attack the Shopkeeper.)

I'll add to this list if I come up with any more.
Last edited by Neo Nocturna; Feb 15 @ 1:50pm
Showing 1-15 of 32 comments
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Sundance Kid Feb 15 @ 3:31pm 
Whoever created the ghost:f*** you
Whoever programmed things you throw to harm you:f*** you
Whoever made the piranhas:f*** you
I totally agree with you seriously it doesn't make sense that to pick something up requires two keys its just... F***ing stupid!
A Thief of Time Feb 15 @ 5:11pm 
Maybe it's because I've played the game for close to 60 hours, but I can't say I agree with most of these things. Apologies if I seem antagonistic, I just want to explain how I feel about these.

-Bats aren't that bad. You can whip them while they're above you with good timing, or use a rope to kill them if you need to.
-Neither are arrow traps. Throw things in front of them, or use ropes or bombs if there's nothing to throw.
-I'm fairly sure this is to prevent people from zipping through the level. You can stop fall damage by grabbing a ledge or tree, and using a jetpack or cape "resets" your fall.
-I'll agree that they could have been made less awkward, but once you get used to them they aren't that bad.
-This never really bothered me. Adding another command to the controller layout would make it more awkward in my opinion, keyboard or gamepad. Maybe they could give this as an option but have it be off by default, for those who want it.
-I already talked about arrow traps, but you can trigger a tiki trap by throwing an enemy, corpse or creature at it. The spears on each section also cannot come out both sides simultaneously, and only the thrust of the spears causes damage, so you can climb over them while they are retracting. Alternatively, use a bomb (just be wary that if you only destroy the top part the bottom part will still work).
-This is probably to offset the fact that the scepter kills pretty much everything in one or two hits. I personally avoid it unless I'm trying to reach Hell. That said, I hate the croc men because they've caused all my scepter related deaths by teleporting around.
-They can be annoying, but I actually like them early on thanks to the scarabs. But they always ruin Low Scorer attempts for me. I'm just glad we can't get dark Ice Cave levels.
-I don't care for this too much either, but I only hate it if I want to rob the Black Market.
-You can pick them up before they explode to disable them (although they'll be primed again once you drop it). They can make a decent alternative to bombs if you're trying to conserve them.
-I doubt they did this intentionally thinking it was "cute". I do think it would be nice though if they made a way to prevent scenery from appearing around land mines.
-Again, don't want to make controls awkward, would be an okay option, yadda yadda yadda. Already said this earlier.
-I don't see how this is a bad thing, just make sure you don't whip while in a shop.
-They're actually programmed in this version to not react to most enemies attacking them, with the unfortunate exceptions of the fire frogs (they're treated like bombs, probably to prevent players from stealing from the shop), tiki men throwing boomerangs and a slave or damsel being attacked. I've heard they get angered by yetis too, but I haven't had it happen to me.

-If I had a nickel for every complaint about the ghost that I've seen... I think the ghost is fine. It gives a time pressure element, it is meant to make things hard because this is a hard game. And if you know what you're doing, you can rack up tons of money with it's help. See here: http://spelunky.wikia.com/wiki/Ghostrunning. Turn on the Pro HUD if you want an idea about when it arrives, it always does so when you've been in a level for two and a half minutes (with the exception of the boss levels). I'm fairly sure that the devs aren't interested in adding an option that removes the ghost, since it only seems to bother a vocal minority.
-Think about it this way, if there was no risk to throwing things upwards there would be no reason to use the whip. It would make the game far too easy early on.
-Pirahnas are easy to whip and get rid of. The real problem is when pretty much any other enemy gets in the water and you can't jump on them anymore.

I hope at least some of these help you to learn how to deal with them or why they are a part of the game. Unfortunately they can't please everyone. If anything that you listed was changed, there would be complaints, so it's ultimately their choice as developers as to what they do and do not change to make the game better for as many people as possible.
Neo Nocturna Feb 15 @ 7:00pm 
@Thief of Time: All you've done is give obvious solutions to the problems mentioned. When people complain about these problems, it's not because we can't handle it or we don't know how to deal with it. It's that...they just make us angry.

Also, many of your solutions don't take into account many other possible situations. You're not thinking broadly enough about this. Just because it hasn't happened to you doesn't mean it can't happen. For example: Arrow Traps. Throwing objects in front of them is how you're supposed to deal with them. Understandable. But how many times have I jumped from one side of the screen to the other, only to be met with an Arrow Trap on the far wall that was hidden off screen and I land directly in its path. Because of the speed of the arrow and reaction of the trap, it's almost impossible to avoid this situation without taking a hit. That's only one example, I could list other situations you're not thinking about, but I don't have the patience.

Bottom line, these are simply things I don't agree with. Nothing more, nothing less. I won't demand changes to the game or stop playing. But I will get angry and I will have opinions. Because I'm human.
Frankokomando Feb 15 @ 8:06pm 
You sound upset. Here have a cute spelunker
Mana☆Burn Feb 15 @ 9:45pm 
OP doesn't know that roguelike games are supposed to be challenging as hell
CampyMcStandStill Feb 15 @ 9:49pm 
So games right who needs'em?
Neo Nocturna Feb 15 @ 10:10pm 
Originally posted by Frankokomando:
You sound upset. Here have a cute spelunker :spelunky:
...That's adorable.
A Thief of Time Feb 15 @ 10:28pm 
Well, I never said my solutions were perfect. I just wanted to give general opinions on how to solve those. But we're each allowed to have our own opinions in the end, of course.
lostsomething Feb 16 @ 12:44am 
Eh, only one I really agree with is the climbing gloves which could definitely use some sort of way to signal that you don't want to grab onto things (Maybe they could make it so that if you're holding down jump you won't grab stuff?).

The shop keepers are just evil ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥s who deserve nothing but death. The occasional grevious injustice is just the game's way of teaching you that most necessary of facts.
Ladez Feb 16 @ 4:46am 
I understand why you made this topic, but it still seems utterly pointless to me. It's just a list of things that annoy you in the game along with an FU for every one. Most of these things make perfectly good sense, so dishing out FU's seems juvenile in my opinion.

Why don't you explain why you don't like these things, and invite others to discuss and come up with solutions instead?

I know you said that you enjoy the game, but making this topic sends a different message.
Neo Nocturna Feb 16 @ 10:47am 
Originally posted by Ladez:
I understand why you made this topic, but it still seems utterly pointless to me. It's just a list of things that annoy you in the game along with an FU for every one. Most of these things make perfectly good sense, so dishing out FU's seems juvenile in my opinion.

Why don't you explain why you don't like these things, and invite others to discuss and come up with solutions instead?

I know you said that you enjoy the game, but making this topic sends a different message.
Many of these things don't make sense to me at all, so it's a matter of opinion. And yes, that's exactly what this list is. A list of things that annoy me. This list is nothing more than an expression of emotion.

There's no need to come up with solutions for these problems. Complaining about them doesn't mean I can't deal with them, it just means they annoy me regardless.
QcChopper Feb 17 @ 9:15am 
I disagree with this thread. The only thing I really hate is croc man so whoever thought it would be a good idea, F*** you.
Spicyman33 Feb 17 @ 1:14pm 
One of the best parts of Spelunky is the rage factor. It makes achieving victory all the more sweeter and makes every moment tense.
oneflewovertheroper Feb 21 @ 1:12pm 
Spelunky isn't for whiners.
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Date Posted: Feb 15 @ 1:49pm
Posts: 32