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Twelvefield Jan 23, 2013 @ 3:13pm
Hot Coffee
I had a run where I opened a chest, found a cup of coffee, and I drank it.

Right away, I realized how unrealistic that would be. A) I don't drink coffee at all. B) Even if I did, the last cup of coffee I would drink would be one I found locked in a chest.

"But ya, Twelvefield," you say, "It's a dungeon! All you get to drink is coffee."

To which I respond:

A) The better dungeons of my acquaintance seldom have coffee service.
B) Most of my friends who do drink coffee do so out of addiction fed by obsessive-compulsive habit. I have friends who travelled to Europe to buy a very particular antique bean grinder. One person I know has a collection of grinders that must top $10,000 - $15-000 in total value. They will grind only the most highly chosen of bean varieties using precise grinding methodologies, i.e four counter-clockwise grinds followed by 35 fast CCW grinds followed by 9 slow CCW grinds, followed by 2 CW grinds. Locked-chest coffee is who knows what? Is it fair trade? I doubt that. What's the grind? Maybe it's Sanka. Locked in a chest, it's probably cooled off since the castle was built. I don't see any wisps of steam coming off the cup.

How desperate would you have to be to quaff dungeon coffee? Maybe coffee-drinking forum users could explain.

Now if it was beer in the chest, that would be another matter entirely...
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Showing 1-8 of 8 comments
jaerak Jan 23, 2013 @ 3:33pm 
The hell are you smoking...and where can I get some?
If you can eat a chicken from a garbage can in an alley to regain health, you can drink dungeon coffee.
Aegix Drakan Jan 23, 2013 @ 6:10pm 
Dude, I loathe coffee with all my being.

But if I was running at full tilt down a hallway as a "wall of doom" was slowly approaching and I had just taken down a treant and I saw some coffee in a chest, I would down it.

Just sayen. :P
I feel like I want to be your friend, but then I realize that since you do not drink coffee we can only be... frenemies...
Wheelcakes Jan 23, 2013 @ 9:31pm 
Imagine how long that bread was there for
Aegix Drakan Jan 24, 2013 @ 4:19am 
And the cheese. Oh gosh, I think it must be nothing but mould by now.... *shudder*
Sharkfood Jan 25, 2013 @ 12:58pm 
Well, obviously you've never played any Castlevania games. Whipping blocks from walls in dusty, old castles reveals ham and roast beef that you gobble up to replenish health.

I would much rather have a cup of coffee from a chest than eat a ham or hunk of roast beef found by knocking a hole in the wall...
oldbushie Jan 26, 2013 @ 10:16pm 
Clearly they had different methods of preserving meat in those days. Those stone blocks must be cold as ice!
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