Upplagd: 27 januari
I was only 16.
I loved Tentacles before, I watched with girls in it all the time.
I prayed to the Tentacle God evey day in front of my compooter, thanking him for weeaboo life.
Octodad is love, I had said, Octodad is life.
My dad sees my browsing history and pats me on the back.
I know he is proud to see me becoming a young man.
I cooked Calamari for dinner.
Dad eats it all and used all my dipping sauce with it too.
I starve now in my compooter chair and my pelvis hurts.
Suddenly, I smell it.
I was overcome with grief.
He whispers in my mind words that only Octodad would really say.
Dad comes from behind my compooter chair.
I threw the Sushi into his face.
He rages and throws school glue onto the living room floor.
I couldn't believe I had to clean all that up.
It sucked so much but I did it for the Internet.
It's so sticky, it almost turned me on.
I pushed the towel against its moist.
I want my Interwebs back.
Octodad blurbs as he comes out of the fridge.
Octodad looks at my dad who comes in and says *insert squid pun here*.
Octodad spits back into my compooter screen.