I was in an interesting game today. Everyone was either a Turk or Byzantine, but we did have one Korean and a Teuton. The Korean died quickly.
We laughed because one of the Byzantines was named Heinrich Himmler, the advisor for Hitler during WW2. My friend in the game was acting a lot like Hitler, killing every Turk, so you can imagine having Hitler's advisor was funny. I was one of the Turks, but my friend did not kill me.
Soon my empire grew and I started to kill off a Teuton who refused to give in to my demands. He was very weak and fled. I found him hiding in Heinrich's huge city, and it had turned out Heinrich agreed to protect him. Heinrich went to go eat and I decided I'll drop by and...hah...see how the Teuton was doing.
I bring 40 Heavy Camels, 50 Jannisaries, and 15 Petards. The 15 petards were used to blow up (as I screamed in chat "ALLAH HU ACKBAR!") the little defense the Teuton had, effectively letting in my troops. The Teuton panicked and, again, tried to run away. I killed 23 of his villagers, but two got away. They got on a transport I presume, because next thing I knew, they were on a different land mass. I had trouble finding him, but eventually I did and got over there with 20 Cannon Galleons.
By now, Heinrich had come back and noticed I was trying to kill the Teuton. He laughed but didn't choose a side.
Meanwhile, I began to build a wonder, which for a Turk like me is a Mosque. I said "LET ISLAM REIGN!" as I finished the Mosque and put 15 Jannisaries on guard. My friend laughed before saying "I hope you realize...I kill Muslims like you."
I laughed as well, thinking he was joking.
I got some pizza and decided to go eat some. I come back about 7 minutes later, being destroyed by my friend and his ally. Now it was my turn to panic.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING *insert my friend's name here*?!"
"I'm stopping the spread of Islam! Succumb to Christianity!"
"OKAY OKAY I SURRENDER, CONSIDER ME CHRISTIAN!"
"You are no Christian until you tear your Mosque down!"
"But I...ugh, okay."
I selected the Mosque and clicked DELETE. It fell to rubble.
Now we go back to the Teuton. He was hiding up north before, but in the short 7 minutes I was gone, he went back to Hein's city and Hein had built a wall around his town center. He called it the "Teutonic Concentration Camp". It was pretty funny. After a while we got bored and were going to select "Allied Victory". I still had a bone to pick with the Teuton, so I sent the remainder of my men after his camp, having to enemy Hein on the way there.
FOR WHATEVER REASON, THEY KNEW I WOULD DO THIS. SERIOUSLY.
EVERYONE IN THE GAME ENEMIED ME AND FOUGHT ME TO THE DEATH. THE TEUTON ACTUALLY WON WITH 1 TOWN CENTER, A VILLAGER, AND A FARM.
In the end I whispered to myself "This must be how Israel feels".
10/10 would be a failure of an Islamic empire again