I feel screwed. But not the good kind of screwed. The other one. Yeah, you know the one.
1) Bought the game, but there's no sound. No music, no sfx, nothing. I keep getting the same popular error message everyone else has been getting:
action number 1
of Create Event
for object objDevolver:
Error defining an external function.”
One time out of three, upon trying to start the game, the game will just shut itself off.
The other two times, if I try to quit the game, it won't let me. I have to start the Task Manager to force-quit.
Three times out of three, the game will take about 30-60 seconds to load, with the game logo plainly there in the middle of my screen.
Windows 8 Professional with Media Center, 64-bit
i7-3630QM @ 2.4Ghz
12 Gb of RAM
1 Tb HDD
Intel HD Graphics 4000
nVidia GeForce GT 630M
IDT High Definition Audio Codec
I've tried uninstalling, re-installing, installing .NET 3.5, .NET 4.5, installing Visual C++ Redistributable 2010, 2012, more recent versions of 2010 from Microsoft's website, the version of 2010 that came with the game, no impact. I don't have any printers installed. I've tried rubbing my belly and patting my head at the same time. I've even tried holding my breath, and swearing loudly: nothing works.
2) Bought the soundtrack, but then found out it already comes with the game and I could have gotten it from the artists' websites for free. I paid twice as much for the soundtrack as I did the game. What do they call it when someone charges you for something you already own, and you could get for free elsewhere if you really wanted to?
3) The soundtrack is missing the track Vengeance by Perturbator.
4) Does Steam do refunds? I think Steam should do refunds. Please do refunds? Look, I know the developer is broke(n?), but I don't see how screwing me out of money is the right way to go here. Maybe make the game not broken and not bilk unknowing, unsuspecting, and hapless dullards such as myself out of their hard-earned money for a game that won't work and a soundtrack that already comes with the game. There are other ways of getting my money. Like pretending to be a Nigerian prince or something. That seems more honest, and requires less work. Just saying.
Thanks for restoring my faith in Indie games. Really. Hate on mass-market, AAA publishers all you want, they tend to do a better job with QA.
Now somebody get me my money back for the soundtrack, and a functional game, and let's put all of this behind us.
Nower rather than sooner.