Julkaistu 28. toukokuu.
Pfft, you really think you're ready for this? You think you're pro-MLG enough to handle this one? Maybe you should turn around and go back to Skyrim or Terraria or whatever other CASUL "game" you waddle around in. If you really think you're ready to step up your game and try your hand at Dank Souls, lemme give you an accurate depiction of your fate:
- You will die.
- You will die a lot.
- You will die for basically most of your time playing.
- Death will befall you.
- Your life will be ended.
- Your shirts will be colored red in your blood, which will ironically make you die even more.
- Imagine one of those games where you estimate the number of candies or rat testes or some other small things that've been put in a jar. Now imagine all of it has been replaced with instances of your death. Okay? That's a pretty accurate description, I think. Yeah. It'll do.
Basically the game is hard, or at least it is to CASULS like you. Don't even pick this game up unless you already know every enemy attack animation as well as every parry frame and weapon moveset in the game with some side knowledge of every misc item in the game and all the secret passages.
Or you could learn as you go. I mean, that'd be okay I guess. I mean, that's probably what makes Dank Souls so great is that you learn as you go, no matter how many times you die. UNLESS YOU'RE PRO-MLG LIKE ME, IN WHICH CASE YOU NEVER DIE BECAUSE I NEVER DIE EVER.
In PvE you will face off against BALANCED and 100% QUALITY enemies such as the "bed of chaos" and "torch hollows." The combat in Dark Souls is directly tied into user and enemy animations, so the player will have to be forced to learn patterns AS WELL AS the patterns the player will utilize and change via weapon choices, since all weapons basically have their own unique moveset and sets of strengths/weaksauce weaknesses...except for the CHAOSHANDER, which only has strengths.
In PvP you will be butt-devastated by a gigantic flurry of backstabs the like of which you will never have thought could exist. Take every game in the Assassin's Creed series and then add up all the backstabs players could possibly execute at any point (possibly an infinite value due to respawning NPCs?) and then multiply it by five.
You're still not even close.
The combat is still tied into animations, except now it's entirely based on PLAYER movesets. This means PvP is primarily dominated by those who learned the strengths and weaknesses of (at least most of) the gear in the game.
AKA THEY LEARNED HOW TO ABUSE THE SYSTEM AND GET FREE BUTTSTABS.
IT'S A TRAVESTY.
Basically the backstab system in Dar- I mean Dank Souls isn't all that quality-laden. Dark Souls II (notice how I didn't say DANK SOULS II) attempted to fix this, and it did a fair job of doing so. Except for how Dark Souls II isn't as good as Dank Souls, and should be avoided.
I'm not going to go into the lore because you can just do a google search ("DANK SOULS LORE FUNNY CAT IMAGES") and see 999,999,998 "people" go "OH YES IT'S SOOOOO DEEP AND MEANINGFUL BUT SUBTLE AT THE SAME TIME LIKE OMGGGG YOU HAVE TO DISCOVER IT FOR YOURSELF."
They're right, of course. It still doesn't need another reiteration though. You get the point after a while.
In conclusion, Dank Souls is an amazing triumph of the game market and is more akin to an interactive work of art THAT HATES YOU.
If you have any disagreements then I'll have to ask you to 1v1 me. Watch out though 'cause my zweihander don't play no games son.