Tommy G. Mar 21, 2013 @ 6:42am
Are All Marriages Arranged?
It would appear as though they are, but it seems somewhat odd to me, so I thought I'd ask. About 25% of my job as liege is playing matchmaker, and it would appear as though anyone who is a member of my court not only needs my blessing to marry, but they need me to choose their spouse as well. I actually enjoy this function, so I'm not complaining about it. And I can understand if they need my blessing to marry. But if I don't do anything, will no one marry on their own? I've married off courtiers in their late twenties, so I'm assuming my input is a requirement, but it just seems weird to me that no one comes to me to ask if they can marry someone the'd like to marry.

Is this true? And is this custom historically accurate?
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Regergek Mar 21, 2013 @ 6:47am 
It is accurate, and very rarely they will elope themselves without asking, which gives you an event where you can imprison them both.
sounds like a wooosh Mar 21, 2013 @ 6:57am 
Some of my dynasty-monsters even breed for themselves – often meaning they don't breed at all! – They hide in towns and different courts… and from time to time I discover them - and give them opportunities… Oh well!!
Tommy G. Mar 21, 2013 @ 10:24am 
Thanks! For a while there, it was my policy to arrange marriages only when I saw that one of my courtiers had the ambition to get married. Then I'd get a boost in their opinion of me by arranging it. But then I realized I had several spinsters and bachelors past their prime sitting around, perhaps because they had some other ambition currently showcased; meaning, they may indeed want to get married, but their primary aim is to amass wealth, or something else.

So I rather expected that people might come to me and say "I think my son should marry so-and-so," or "may I have your blessing to marry who's its?" So as long as I know they're all waiting for me to find them their matches, I'll be all over it.

Thanks for the confirmation!
Sovos Mar 23, 2013 @ 5:32pm 
Your courtiers can only marry when you arrange their marriage (or through a rare elope event). Any landed noble can marry by themself, though how long it will take varies.

This applies to your children as well. Since daughters will be unlanded, you will have to arrange all of their marrages. Your sons may choose their own marriages if you've given them land.
Nef Mar 23, 2013 @ 8:40pm 
Originally posted by Sovos:
Your courtiers can only marry when you arrange their marriage (or through a rare elope event). Any landed noble can marry by themself, though how long it will take varies.

This applies to your children as well. Since daughters will be unlanded, you will have to arrange all of their marrages. Your sons may choose their own marriages if you've given them land.

Though it seems that if you give your sons land before they marry, they're likely to marry the first random terrible stats woman they find.
The Dude Mar 24, 2013 @ 5:41am 
Originally posted by Nef:
Originally posted by Sovos:
Your courtiers can only marry when you arrange their marriage (or through a rare elope event). Any landed noble can marry by themself, though how long it will take varies.

This applies to your children as well. Since daughters will be unlanded, you will have to arrange all of their marrages. Your sons may choose their own marriages if you've given them land.

Though it seems that if you give your sons land before they marry, they're likely to marry the first random terrible stats woman they find.

Indeed, you yourself need to arrange every marriage in your court. I aim to marry as many talented people as possible to eachother, to breed future councilors (and maybe tutors, if they're of the same culture). Also inviting title claimants from other courts and marrying them to kinsmen/heirs is useful for future allies or expansion. See it as a claim-transplantation :)

On a kind-of related note: Did that powerful husband of your sister just die, and you lost him as an ally? Invite your sister back to your court, she'll bring her underage, untutored kids with her. Now you can marry her of again to that other Duke you want as an ally. You can keep the kids if they're old enough to be tutored by someone at your court.

And if you do decide to give your heir a fief of his own, either betroth or marry them first, because otherwise they will marry the first woman they walk into, and more often than not you'll be dissappointed with his choice. I even desire my heir to have a ligitimate son before granting him a fief. I don't want to take the chance they only have daughters who they forget to marry matrilinealy, or to have my daughter-in-law die of smallpox before they have that son....

Oh yes, I am that horrible controlling father..... ;)
Tommy G. Mar 24, 2013 @ 6:29am 
Wow, thanks for all the tips! I actually did a pretty good job of marrying my kids up. I had two sons, then two daughters. The eldest son I married off to an English Princess (one of The Conqueror's daughters) and the two daughters I married to a Piast and a Capet (Polish and French) Prince accordingly.

So I have the blood of 3 royal families in my household. I'll keep an eye on those other dynasties. Thanks for mentioning!
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Date Posted: Mar 21, 2013 @ 6:42am
Posts: 7