Posted: February 22
Sleeping Dogs is pretty cool I guess.
So back in the distant past of 2003, a little game came out called True Crimes: Streets of LA. It came out during a time when Grand Theft Auto was the biggest kid on the block and everyone wanted to be like him. But what TC did differently is let you play as a copper, a copper who knew martial arts mind you. How cool is that?
The game was alright and it had a sequel I never played, but my friends tell me it's horrible. So I'm going to take their opinion and claim it as my own. True Crimes: Streets of New York is horrible. So now fast forward to 2009 when the game "True Crimes: Streets of Hong Kong" was announced. But then a bunch of bad things happened and I'm pretty sure there was a sword fight (No, really), and True Crimes: Streets of Hong Kong was cancelled. Nothing was heard from it until Square Enix found the game concept at the bottom of a trash bin that I happened to be eating from, thank you very much for interrupting my dinner, Mr. Yasuhiro Fukushima. They rebranded the game as Sleeping Dogs, and here we are today.
Sleeping Dogs, not Sleeping Dougs, shut up Doug.
You play as undercover police officer: Wei Shen, an Asian-American who returns to his home city of Hong Kong to find answers and bring down a Triad organization called the Sun On Yee. Using his wits, his toughness, and his determination, Wei breaks into the Sun On Yee undercover and begins a life of crime. Also, he knows Martial Arts, how cool is that? He's like a Chinese Jackie Chan.
Wait a minute.
Unlike GTA, Kung-Fu Konrad rarely ever finds fire-arms in the streets of Hong Kong, so the game has a more personal and crunchy feel to it's combat system, considering its mostly punching chumps in the mouth. It takes a lot of hints from the Arkham Series but then again what doesn't these days? You use a mixture of punches and heavy punches as well as grabs and counters to beat up people who are smaller than you. It takes a little while to get use to, but once you understand what enemy does what, it feels a lot more natural and high impact than most open-world combat systems. It's akin to crushing enemies underneath your feet like fortune cookies.
Fortune cookies aren't actually from China, I apologize.
But virtual Hong Kong that doesn't actually look like Hong Kong is sort of a big place, so you need to get around fast. Good thing Chop Stick Charlie can break into vehicles or buy them if you're a square, and drive with about with pretty slick and percise controls. Mind you this is Hong Kong, so traffic and other drivers are what you would expect.
For some reason, the traffic emperor deciced that it was opposite day and the roads are all ♥♥♥♥y. They should just be like America and keep the roads the way they should be. Right is right and left is wrong. Jeez.
The story is rather competant and managed to catch me off guard from time to time. It prizes itself as an adult story and actually has some themes and actions that I've never actually seen outside of movies. The voice actors are all competant and well spoken, but sometimes Wei Shen sounds like he's speaking his lines like he's reading from a cereal box. Though this isn't common. And sometimes the voice actors start mumbling and it sounds like they're speaking another language or something. How silly would that be?
"But Dirk Dickbutt, you insanely handsome and sexually energized man" You say. "Why are you reviewing this one and not the Definitive version?"
What am I? Made out of money? Get out of here with that you vulture!
Should you play Comatose Canines?
Mind you, I played with a controller and I hear that playing with a keyboard and mouse works just about as well as two old people having sex. It has vintage appeal but it is by far the least effective method. This being said, I had fun playing Napping Lupines, although it felt like the ending was rushed and they could have done more with some supporting characters, It was a fun and well made experience. Muay Thai Terry is a pretty likable character once you get past the fact that he doesn't mind dating people while on undercover duty.
Resting Kittens gets 6 Bruce lee movies out of a possible 3.
I discovered the Machine and it speaks in riddles.
The Curator, a place for adults who see ghosts. http://steamcommunity.com/groups/Dickbuttexperience#curation