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Because he's a writer who spends time in a room writing stuff? It's more of a nudge at realism but I do agree that it's annoying.
That's the part that bothers me the most. I'm probably twice Alan's weight and I could easily book it twice as long as that, especially if there are crazed axe wielding psychopaths after me.
The devs gave him one hell of an imagination, but they didn't give him enough adrenaline.